Twenty Reasons Why Citizens Call for Dialogue

During the recent Finding Ways to Walk Together Dialogue Initiative in South Africa, four regional and a national dialogue event were held. Here is a summary of the key messages, translated into needs and aspirations with regards to dialogue:

1. The right thing to do
   To engage in dialogue is absolutely necessary for the survival of the nation 
2. Inclusion and participation
   To access, convene and participate in relevant dialogues with the right people (especially the youth), about the right issues at the right time
3. Breaking the silence about conflict
   To speak out and get to the root causes of conflict
4. Language of courage
   To speak the truth to those in authority and one another in authentic and constructive ways
5. Inspiration and vision
   To unite behind a vision that inspires citizens to shift from prisoners of the past to pioneers of the future, from passive recipients to active citizens
6. Leadership
   To foster wise, visionary and moral leadership that listens and responds to valid  concerns and aspirations
7. Dignity and Equality
   To recognise, affirm and value one another’s human dignity in spaces where people are treated equally
8. Connectedness and alignment
   To know that people are not talking in isolation of one another and that the results of dialogue are shared across the country 
9. Cohesion
   To create a society that is free from prejudice, polarization and factionalism which are often linked to tribe, race, political affiliation or class differences
10. Protection
    To be able to meet in safe spaces that are free from domination or coercion especially when uncomfortable discussions take place; and to be free from persistent confrontation, blaming and attacks
11. Good process
    To participate in well-facilitated processes instead of senseless and fruitless talking
12. Meaning
    To be confident that everyone’s  contributions are valued
13. Creation
    To contribute in creative ways to ideas and actions towards a better life for all, instead of focusing on problems all the time
14. A development agenda
    To participate in a development agenda for the country 
15. Freedom from poverty
    To join hands to overcome the shared problem of poverty, which is the real enemy—not people
16. Listening and understanding
    To access and learn from reliable information; to listen, to understand and to be understood
17. Healing
    To heal relationships and to overcome our common woundedness, shifting from a mentality of victims to that of victors
18. Non-violent alternative forms of expression
    To counter violence, which has become a dominant language 
19. Capacities
    To build and support capacities of structures and facilitators to engage and sustain in dialogue
20. National mechanism for dialogue
    To establish a national framework and structure/mechanism, without which dialogue will not automatically happen

Getting to Know Dialogue

Chris Spies

Dialogue is my last name. My first names are too many to mention. They vary from context to context. So, I’m being called Political Dialogue, Environmental Dialogue, Generic Dialogue, Gender Dialogue, Development Dialogue, Family Dialogue, or whatever people choose to call me. 

I live in “Uncomfortable Safe Spaces” in families, communities, regions, countries; in offices, board rooms, organisations, governments and wherever people practice it.  

I am very different from my distant trouble making cousins Debate, Negotiation, Consultation and Speech, and am frustrated when people confuse us. 

I am very close to my close friend Mediation. We both aim for the same goal. 

I do not carry weapons or shields, because, in safe spaces, there is no need for anybody to attack others or defend themselves. 

My windows are always wide open to allow fresh ideas and perspectives to enter. 

I like to be agile and fit and feel I’m more productive when I’m with fewer people rather than big crowds. So I like key people more than more people, but I also realise that key people will have to make sure that more people dialogue. 

I do not hide or sweep anything under the carpet and keep probing until the complexities begin to emerge.

I recognise that there is sometimes an elephant in the room and then I encourage everyone to say which part of the elephant they recognise. 

I am not afraid to speak the truth boldly. Neither am I afraid to hear and discuss uncomfortable issues.

I do not so much care about who is right, but about what the future asks of us.

I am also not afraid of differences. In fact, I encourage and invite them. 

My goal is not to win arguments. I am curious about what others think and I want to understand better where they come from. 

I therefore do not hold on to “my idea”, because I’m more interested in“our ideas”.  

Blaming does not help anyone. It does not help if I’m jealous of others and certainly not when I take offense if someone criticises me.  

I do not exclude anyone, especially the differently abled people. 

I am a player on the field— not a spectator that dictates from the outside.  

I do not like egos, centre stages, pedestals and podiums. I am most happy in a circle where no one is more important than the other.  

I  have big ears and a small mouth, not the other way around.  

I’m not dressed in T-shirts with negative slogans.  I like to carry a blanket to cover others who are out in the cold.  

People say that, unlike my cousin debate, I do not make them tired and despondent. They find me inspiring and energizing. 

People often think that all I can do is talk. That’s not true. In fact, talking without meaningful interaction is sterile.  And interaction that does not lead to meaningful change in a world full of social injustice is a waste of time. 

If you call me a “soft option” you are dead wrong. I think if you are afraid of me and if you choose to win all the time, you are taking the easy way out. To engage with me is very hard work. You will have to face yourself and those that differ from you. 

I encourage you to be a leader: Be brave people and create something with others that would not have been possible if you had acted alone.