Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all could walk "six feet tall"?

Chinua Achebe. The Trouble with Nigeria.

Who is a patriot? He is a person who loves his country. He is not a person who says he loves his country. He is not even a person who shouts or swears or recites or sings his love of his country. He is one who cares deeply about the happiness and well-being of his country and all its people. Patriotism is an emotion of love directed by a critical intelligence. A true patriot will always demand the highest standards of his country and accept nothing but the best for and from his people. He will be outspoken in condemnation of their short-comings without giving way to superiority, despair or cynicism. That is my idea of a patriot.

True patriotism is possible only when the people who rule and those under their power have a common an genuine goal of maintaining the dispensation under which the nation lives. This will, in turn, only happen if the nation is ruled justly, if the welfare of all the people rather than the advantage of the few becomes the corner stone of public policy.

National pledges and pious admonitions administered by the ruling classes or their paid agents are entirely useless in fostering true patriotism. In extreme circumstances of social, economic and political inequities such as we have in Nigeria, pledges and admonitions may even work in the reverse direction and provoke rejection or cynicism and despair. One shining act of bold, selfless leadership at the top, such as unambiguous refusal to be corrupt or tolerate corruption at the fountain of authority, will radiate powerful sensations of well-being and pride through every nerve and artery of national life. 

I saw such a phenomenon on two occasions in Tanzania in the 1960s. The first was when news got around (not from the Ministry of Information, but on the street corners) that President Nyerere after paying his children’s school fees had begged his bank to give him a few months’ grace on the repayment of the mortgage on his personal house. The other occasion was when he insisted that anyone in his cabinet or party hierarchy who had any kind of business interests must either relinquish them or leave his official or party position. This was no mere technicality of putting the business interest in escrow but giving it up entirely. And many powerful ministers including the formidable leader of TANU Women were forced to leave cabinet. On these occasions ordinary Tanzanians seemed to walk around, six feet tall. They did not need sermons on patriotism; nor a committee of bishops and emirs to inaugurate a season of ethical revolution for them. 

Attitudes that shape the world: Participants’ Self-reflections During a Course on Dialogue and Mediation.

When people tell their stories, especially stories about what motivates them to do what they do, powerful insights emerge, such as the following reflections by international participants:

We’ve seen Auschwitz and apartheid South Africa.

We have fled our homes in Lebanon, Afghanistan and the Balkans.

We feared for our lives at the hands of many who were fighting in the name of God/Allah.

We have witnessed the bodies of loved ones and neighbours being brought back from the war.

We have carried Kalashnikofs and AK 47s and dreamed of being brave fighters. 

We were indoctrinated and taught to dismantle rifles and hate the other.

We have forgotten how to deal with conflict and did not believe in dialogue and mediation. 

But...

We are driven by basic human values.

We grew up mediating between siblings and between parents.

We followed the advice from parents to take care of the land and to get an education.

We received books from grandmothers and lecturers.

We received inspiration through traveling and visits to places of conflict. 

We were struck by inequalities, xenophobia and rejection and asked “Why?”

We broke free from the chains of ideology and found inner beliefs and convictions.

We challenged dominant paradigms and found new freedoms.

We understood that security means more than being able to defend yourself.

We reacted to glaring injustice by becoming advocates for change.

We transformed retributive justice into restorative justice.

We became mediators and peacebuilders.

We transformed hate and apathy to compassion and understanding.

We refused to accept that violence ends violence and decided to prevent it instead.

We responded to the void by creating infrastructures for peace.

We work to fix a broken system. 

We dedicate our lives to restoring relationships.

We discover that we can learn while we we do.

We serve instead of wanting to become powerful consumers of service. 

We found new passion and joy and a curiosity to discover more.

We network with others and are inspired by what they do. 

We do not give up, because we have tenacity and commitment.

We learned to listen in order to resolve. 

We believe in dialogue and mediation.

Folke Bernadotte Academy, Sandö, Sweden. 

May 2012

Twenty Reasons Why Citizens Call for Dialogue

During the recent Finding Ways to Walk Together Dialogue Initiative in South Africa, four regional and a national dialogue event were held. Here is a summary of the key messages, translated into needs and aspirations with regards to dialogue:

1. The right thing to do
   To engage in dialogue is absolutely necessary for the survival of the nation 
2. Inclusion and participation
   To access, convene and participate in relevant dialogues with the right people (especially the youth), about the right issues at the right time
3. Breaking the silence about conflict
   To speak out and get to the root causes of conflict
4. Language of courage
   To speak the truth to those in authority and one another in authentic and constructive ways
5. Inspiration and vision
   To unite behind a vision that inspires citizens to shift from prisoners of the past to pioneers of the future, from passive recipients to active citizens
6. Leadership
   To foster wise, visionary and moral leadership that listens and responds to valid  concerns and aspirations
7. Dignity and Equality
   To recognise, affirm and value one another’s human dignity in spaces where people are treated equally
8. Connectedness and alignment
   To know that people are not talking in isolation of one another and that the results of dialogue are shared across the country 
9. Cohesion
   To create a society that is free from prejudice, polarization and factionalism which are often linked to tribe, race, political affiliation or class differences
10. Protection
    To be able to meet in safe spaces that are free from domination or coercion especially when uncomfortable discussions take place; and to be free from persistent confrontation, blaming and attacks
11. Good process
    To participate in well-facilitated processes instead of senseless and fruitless talking
12. Meaning
    To be confident that everyone’s  contributions are valued
13. Creation
    To contribute in creative ways to ideas and actions towards a better life for all, instead of focusing on problems all the time
14. A development agenda
    To participate in a development agenda for the country 
15. Freedom from poverty
    To join hands to overcome the shared problem of poverty, which is the real enemy—not people
16. Listening and understanding
    To access and learn from reliable information; to listen, to understand and to be understood
17. Healing
    To heal relationships and to overcome our common woundedness, shifting from a mentality of victims to that of victors
18. Non-violent alternative forms of expression
    To counter violence, which has become a dominant language 
19. Capacities
    To build and support capacities of structures and facilitators to engage and sustain in dialogue
20. National mechanism for dialogue
    To establish a national framework and structure/mechanism, without which dialogue will not automatically happen

Getting to Know Dialogue

Chris Spies

Dialogue is my last name. My first names are too many to mention. They vary from context to context. So, I’m being called Political Dialogue, Environmental Dialogue, Generic Dialogue, Gender Dialogue, Development Dialogue, Family Dialogue, or whatever people choose to call me. 

I live in “Uncomfortable Safe Spaces” in families, communities, regions, countries; in offices, board rooms, organisations, governments and wherever people practice it.  

I am very different from my distant trouble making cousins Debate, Negotiation, Consultation and Speech, and am frustrated when people confuse us. 

I am very close to my close friend Mediation. We both aim for the same goal. 

I do not carry weapons or shields, because, in safe spaces, there is no need for anybody to attack others or defend themselves. 

My windows are always wide open to allow fresh ideas and perspectives to enter. 

I like to be agile and fit and feel I’m more productive when I’m with fewer people rather than big crowds. So I like key people more than more people, but I also realise that key people will have to make sure that more people dialogue. 

I do not hide or sweep anything under the carpet and keep probing until the complexities begin to emerge.

I recognise that there is sometimes an elephant in the room and then I encourage everyone to say which part of the elephant they recognise. 

I am not afraid to speak the truth boldly. Neither am I afraid to hear and discuss uncomfortable issues.

I do not so much care about who is right, but about what the future asks of us.

I am also not afraid of differences. In fact, I encourage and invite them. 

My goal is not to win arguments. I am curious about what others think and I want to understand better where they come from. 

I therefore do not hold on to “my idea”, because I’m more interested in“our ideas”.  

Blaming does not help anyone. It does not help if I’m jealous of others and certainly not when I take offense if someone criticises me.  

I do not exclude anyone, especially the differently abled people. 

I am a player on the field— not a spectator that dictates from the outside.  

I do not like egos, centre stages, pedestals and podiums. I am most happy in a circle where no one is more important than the other.  

I  have big ears and a small mouth, not the other way around.  

I’m not dressed in T-shirts with negative slogans.  I like to carry a blanket to cover others who are out in the cold.  

People say that, unlike my cousin debate, I do not make them tired and despondent. They find me inspiring and energizing. 

People often think that all I can do is talk. That’s not true. In fact, talking without meaningful interaction is sterile.  And interaction that does not lead to meaningful change in a world full of social injustice is a waste of time. 

If you call me a “soft option” you are dead wrong. I think if you are afraid of me and if you choose to win all the time, you are taking the easy way out. To engage with me is very hard work. You will have to face yourself and those that differ from you. 

I encourage you to be a leader: Be brave people and create something with others that would not have been possible if you had acted alone.  

Terug op die lug...Back on air

Ek het die afgelope jaar die blog afgeskeep en het Facebook en LinkedIn meer gebruik, maar dis tyd om weer die drade op te tel.

Die Nasionale Dialoog gebeur hierdie week in Johannesburg te Liliesleaf, Rivonia. Kliek op Radio onderhoud en dokumente oor die nasionale dialoog vir meer besonderhede.

I neglected my blog over the last year or so as I experimented with Facebook and LinkedIn for networking purposes. But I'll pick up from where I'd left it.

The Finding Ways to Walk Together national dialogue takes place at Liliesleaf, Rivonia, on July 25-26.  You can find more information here.